Let’s be honest.  We all had high hopes for 2021.  We knew 2020 was going to be a shit show and it did not let us down.  By the end of 2020, we had a vaccine and figured, “This has got to be better.”  Yeah, no.

2020, thumping its chest:  I will go down as the worst year in your memory!

2021, smirking:  Yeah.  Hold my beer.

I do not want to minimize the range of difficulties we all navigated in 2021.  In fact, the next essay I publish looks to be rant on how we’ve normalized all this death and struggle and generally bad behavior.  But this essay will publish right after New Years when we all want to be at least a little hopeful that 2022 will not turn out to be “2020, too”.  With that in mind, here is what I want to remember about 2021:

 JANUARY: This is not usually a top month for me.  It’s cold and gray.  I think the best thing I can say about January 2021 is that Presidential tweets became boring again.

FEBURARY:  This month we got into virtual wine tastings from a favorite vineyard in New Jersey.  For an exorbitant amount of money, which we rationalized as a charitable contribution to help keep the winery open, we were shipped two bottles of wine and some sort of accompaniment (cheese or chocolate or ingredients to make a calorie laden dinner).  Then we dialed into a Zoom call and were talked through the wine tasting.  When neither of you has to drive home afterwards, both bottles of wine disappear.  Even more fun was starting up private chats with people we became better and better friends with as the nights worn on.  They are still in my phone, listed under their first names with the last name of Wine Tasting.

MARCH:  Besides a couple more virtual wine tastings, the true highlight of the month was actually going away for the weekend to the Poconos home of good friends.  We had all maintained a really tight COVID circle and just needed to be together.  Never, ever, ever discount the importance of being with friends.  We ate and drank and generally ignored all WW eating guidelines.  We filled our hearts.  Boy did we need that!

APRIL:  Without a doubt, the highlight of April was getting our COVID shots.  As a chemist, I dove into understanding, as best I could, the mRNA technology.  While I am not a virologist nor epidemiologist, I believe I understand enough of the biochemistry to know that this technology is freakin’ amazing!   While this is the first commercial vaccine, it’s not new technology.  It’s been under development for decades and was ready for prime time.  It is an incredibly elegant solution to helping the body fight intruders.  I got a little thrill when I got that first shot.  I felt like I was a part of history.  And this technology is so versatile that it will become the standard approach, I predict, to vaccine development.

MAY:  The big highlight of May was starting up my biweekly workouts with my BFF again.  It’s not the workouts that I missed, although her trainer worked my body in different ways which is good.  I missed the BFF time.  We work out.  We lunch.  We run errands.  We play with the dog.  We talk and talk and talk.  It’s not that we hadn’t been talking regularly throughout the pandemic.  We’d even had a few lunches when we could eat outdoors.  But there is just something about being TOGETHER.  My soul needs that.

JUNE: This was a big month.  My first trip home to Atlanta in 18 months.  My last trip home was December of 2019, for my Mom’s birthday.  And I had a horrible head cold the whole time I was there.  Everyone has their COVID reunion stories, I’m sure.  To be able to hug my Mom and my sister again, to spend time in the same room together instead of on the phone or over Zoom, to just BE together was amazing.  The amateur social scientist in me again goes back to the power of in-person relationships.  Yes, we have the technology to never have to be face-to-face with anyone again.  In many cases, that is a wondrous improvement over being together live, but there is so much more to our connection with other human beings than voice and two-dimensional body language.  There is stuff we don’t really understand.  And there is stuff we DO understand—like the power of a hug.

JULY:  The highlight of July was going to the Philadelphia Zoo.  Not just because it is the oldest zoo in America, which it is.  Nor because I love zoos and I haven’t been to the Philly Zoo in decades.  It’s because we went with some of our favorite people.  Specifically, we went with two little munchkins who have wormed their way into our hearts along with their parents.  This is a long story, but suffice it to say that while this is a new relationship for me, it is a dramatically important homecoming for Trish.  They are family, pure and simple.  And when a shy 18 month old tries to say your name and gives you an impish grin, or a three year old reaches for your hand, or when he gives you a full body hug as only a kid can do, or when he smiles and says, “I love you!”….  Well, you know.  There is nothing like it.

AUGUST:  This is the month I was able to renew my Lesbian Badge—for the full five-year renewal!  I went back up to our friends’ house in the Poconos to help them cut, split, and stack wood.  This was a glorious weekend!  There was no flannel, but there were work boots and gloves and chain saws and a wood splitter and beer and total exhaustion.  And sore backs.  And a little blood.  Just a little.  There was a lot of laughter.  A lot of deep talk.  A lot of comfortable silence.  And a few really good nights’ sleep.

SEPTEMBER:  September brought the visit of a dear college friend and her husband.  They stopped in Philly for a few days as part of an East Coast trip.  She is part of the biweekly Zoom crew that have helped keep me sane over the last two years.  Again, seeing her in person was so much more meaningful than the Zoom calls.  And we went to a Phillies game.  And it was Dollar Dog night.  Yes!  $1 hot dogs!  And the weather was perfect.  And the Phillies lost.  To the Orioles.

OCTOBER:  Lots of fun things happened in October, but my favorite has to be Beau’s first lion cut.  Beau is our maine coon mix cat, with beautiful think long fur that he gets all knotted up by rolling around on the floor.  And he won’t let us brush him much because he has sensitive little skin.  When the groomer felt his knots she suggested a lion cut: leave his fur long around his head, on the tail, and legs.  Close cut on the body.  He looks freaking adorable!  And he seems to really like it.  He’s become a total snuggler since we did this—and not just because he’s cold!  There is nothing like a 25 pound warm soft purring mass spread from your lap up to your chin.  Who needs a weighted blanket!

NOVEMBER:  We had our first solo babysitting gig with the munchkins.  We had the now-four-year-old all to ourselves since his sister was already asleep.  Besides being scared to death that she might wake up and scream bloody murder since neither of us are Mommy or Daddy (she didn’t wake up), we had an awesome time.  We watch TV, we played games, we learned all about the Goo Jit Zu characters and watched all the Season 1 episodes at least twice.  It was a glorious night!

DECEMBER:  I will admit that December was a tough month.  COVID hit too close to home.  But the year ended in wonderful fashion.  Throughout the pandemic, my major non-home activity was going to the grocery store.  I got to know the woman who helped out at the self-checkout area.  It’s not that we talked a lot.  We just had these brief weekly interactions that got more familiar and friendly over time.  We share little tiny bits of our life and I realized how much I appreciated her constancy.  I wrote up a little card to tell her so and put in a little holiday “cheer”.  Christmas Eve morning was a busy time at the grocery store but she made a point to come over to me during my checkout to wish me Happy Holidays.  I handed her the card, then, as she dashed off to help a customer.  A week later, on a much quieter New Year’s Eve morning, she came up to me at checkout and asked if she could give me a hug.  We spent a few minutes chatting.  She told me the card made her day.  I said giving it to her made mine.  I made a very real connection with another person.  Two people who only slightly intersect in each other’s lives took the time to recognize and embrace the humanity in each other.  And THAT’S how I want to remember 2021.