The day this essay posts will mark my one year blogiversary—one year since I hit Publish and started this blog.  This milestone has of course prompted much Fond Reminiscing and Deep Thoughts about the blog and why I write.  You, Dear Reader, now get to share in some of those musings.  Patience!  Next time we’ll get back into essays on the various bon mots floating around in my head.

As I look back over this first year, I must admit that I am quite pleased.  I have kept to my every-two-weeks posting schedule, save for the last Sunday of the year when I was painfully ill.  (I told myself everyone was too busy to read then anyway.)  I have a faithful stable of 50 or so subscribers, some of whom probably actually read the blog each week (mostly family members, my BFF and spouse), and an additional 80-100 people that access the essay in the few days after I post on Facebook and LinkedIn about a new entry.  My page views have crept up north of 3300 (which I do check excessively the couple of days after I post).  I have reconnected with several friends and former colleagues through the blog which has been a very happy by-product of the writing.  And every now and then, someone tells me that I made a difference.  All of this is to say that I am far from a viral sensation, of which I am quite happy. I know almost all of my subscribers.  A few unknowns have either undecipherable email addresses or came from referrals, which pleases me greatly.  A small but loyal readership is usually kind.  Almost all the comments I get are positive and supportive.  Since I have a very fragile ego, I like it that way.

While I do love you all very much, Dear Readers, I must admit that I don’t really write for you.  I write for me.  You see, I have always wanted to write (just like about 50% of the population and about 90% of middle age females).  I kept journals almost continuously until my 20’s and on and off since then.  I would get compliments on work memos.  Work memos!  Who gets suggestions that you should be a writer based on work memos?  Each compliment was filed away for later.  “I’ll write later,” I would tell my younger self.  “When I can devote time to it.”  Truth is, it wasn’t about time.  It was about fear.  I knew I could express myself well and a few people made some passing positive comments, but could I really write?  I kept telling people I wanted to write yet used busy-ness as my excuse.

It also was about the question of what to write.  Since we have well established by now that I have the attention span of gnat, the idea of writing The Great American Novel made me laugh.  We have also established that I am lazy and a procrastinator, so the idea of me creating a lengthy treatise with well researched material is also quite the stretch.  Through my reading-in-retirement, I found that I am a fan of the essay—something in the neighborhood of 1000-5000 words, around a succinct topic, often with a specific lesson or message to deliver.  THAT I could do!  And in terms of content, well, I laid that out in the title essay to my blog.  Once you’ve done a certain amount of living, learning, and mistake-ing, there is plenty to write about.

All that said, I actually DO write for you, otherwise why create a blog?  I am under no illusion that I am creating new knowledge or philosophy or thinking with my essays.  In fact, I’d be very surprised if anyone told me that they learned something completely new in what I’ve written.  You all know these things, these life lessons about how you evolve as a person.  However, we all need a bit of reminding now and then, don’t we?  And, we could also use a little reminding that we are not alone in feeling that we procrastinate too much, or judge people too quickly, or make a ton of unarticulated assumptions every day.  I have learned the hard way to give myself a little grace and one of the goals for this blog is to give you the permission to give yourself a little grace, too.

I’ve written before on the specific series of events that led me to start the blog.  There are two people in particular, though, that I must thank for their support and encouragement.  The first is Jill Harris Helmer, whom many of you know.  Jill is a friend and a colleague from my days at Air Products.  We always had an easy connection (although most people develop an easy connection with Jill) and she is someone I have always admired.  Jill has had her own blog for quite some time, A Little Bit of Everything, and I encourage you all to check it out.  She writes honestly, joyfully and sometimes painfully about life in a way which anyone can connect.  She is my blogger role model. 

When I finally started to screw up the courage to start a blog, I asked Jill if I could buy her lunch and discuss blogging.  We talked about the mechanics of setting up a page, which have changed a lot in the decade since she started her blog.  We talked about content and length; about comments and trolls; about the basic “why” of having a blog.  But more than anything, she provided encouragement to DO IT (not dissimilar to how she coached me during our Air Products days).  The public accountability of having made this project known to Jill is what really gave me the push to make it happen.  Full disclosure: to this day, Jill, anytime you like or comment on an essay it feels like when you get kudos from your hero. (Blush)

The other person I must thank, of course, is my wife, Trish.  Trish, it must be known, is an exceptional writer herself.  She has not only encouraged me every step of the way but has been my editor-in-chief.  For each essay, she walks that line of “must put out well written and understandable material” on the one side and “jeez, she doesn’t take constructive criticism well, does she?” on the other.  The first few essays required a LOT of iteration.  I never realized how often my tenses wandered all throughout recorded time!  She has been careful to not necessarily argue content, but to make sure my message got through.  She still encourages me to inject more humor (I’m trying!).  Lately, her edits have gotten sparse.  I’m not sure if my writing is getting better or if she’s tiring of the process.  She promises it’s the former and I will choose to believe that.

So here we are! Ready to start Year 2!  How long will I keep doing this?  I don’t know.  I guess until I feel like I don’t have anything more to say (just like when I knew it was time to stop therapy).  Unlike my various rounds of therapy, though, I think I’ll always have something to say.  And that’s because you and life inspire me every day.  Thanks for hanging in there with me during this startup phase.  I can’t tell you how honored I am every time you choose to invest your time to read my thoughts.  My desire to make it worth your while is what keeps me writing!