I am a Virgo and, as such, want things to happen like they are supposed to happen. (My editor, also a Virgo, begs to differ that this is a required trait of the sign.) I do come by this honestly, though, right Mom? I like structure. I like predictability. I like things falling into place and people doing what they are supposed to do and having no surprises.

Interestingly, things actually DO happen like they are supposed to the vast majority of the time. We just don’t notice. Tis a cruel twist of fate that we tend to only notice when things go wrong. Take the human body. We are incredibly complex organisms. Just looking at the ATP cycle in biochemistry blew my mind (this is the cycle of chemical reactions that provides the energy our cells need to do cell-y things). When you build layer upon layer of complexity on top of that, it’s a miracle that even the most basic processes work so well most of the time! Absolutely amazing. And we take it for granted.

In the work environment, I was frustrated by “hero worship” to the exclusion of good, steady performance. The people who fixed big problems were often celebrated and promoted. The people who kept big problems from happening in the first place by being competent, proactive, and just plain good at their jobs were given average performance reviews. “The best customer is one you’ve solved a big problem for,” we were told. Why wasn’t the best customer one you never allowed a big problem to surface with?

As someone who thrives on structure and predictability, I get all bent out of shape quickly when things don’t go as they should. I am learning, though, that sometimes things go awry for a reason and if you just take a deep breath and let things play out, things can work to your benefit. That doesn’t mean there isn’t stress and comedy along the way! And this brings us to a recent Chewy order.

My regular readers will know that our cat, Baxter, is not food motivated and is a picky eater. His “sister,” Bridget, however, will eat plastic bags. Seriously, we cannot leave plastic bags out. She’s on them in a heartbeat! Anyway, after MUCH trial and error I have discovered a collection of cat food flavors that Sir Picks-a-lot will eat and every few months I place a large and expensive order with Chewy (a pet products delivery company). After placing a recent order, the box shipped the next day as usual. The following day I received an “order delivered” email. I looked outside for the box; nothing. I checked the FedEx delivery confirmation link and received the picture posted along with this essay: a Chewy box on a driveway with a piece of grass lawn captured. No picture of the house or any other identifying object. This could have been any house in the greater Philly area. Or any house in suburbia anywhere in the US! I was apoplectic! Where. Was. That. Box?!

I checked the neighbors. I drove around the neighborhood. Nothing. For no good reason I began to panic. Things did not happen as they should have! The box was supposedly delivered, but not to me! I got agitated. I lodged a complaint with FedEx. I started a chat with Chewy (no one likes to talk on the phone anymore; it’s always an online chat). After a few back-and-forths with their AI bot, I got what I think was a live person. Who knows? All I know is that there was an offer to send a replacement shipment. This was $300 of cat food! They were going to send me a replacement at no cost with no due diligence?! I reluctantly (really!) said ok with the promise to cancel the replacement order if the original order showed up. I was SURE a neighbor would call or drop it by. And I could concentrate on nothing else since Things Did Not Happen Like They Should. Then, I was convinced that no package would EVER AGAIN be delivered correctly to our house. Even though we get several packages a week delivered without incident. Nope. Never again. The system is broken.

Meanwhile, I get an email from my ticket support manger at FedEx: her name was Princess.  Princess? I have questions. Is Princess your given name or a nickname? If it’s your given name, what were your parents thinking? If it’s your nickname, why on earth would you use it in a professional email? This noodling entertained me briefly while I answered Princess’s insightful questions, such as confirming my address, describing my house, and asking if I checked with neighbors. According to Princess, answering these questions resolves most missing package inquiries. Really? Shockingly, Princess let me know a few days later that my answers did not help them locate the package. She told me there was no further information and to have a nice day. Thanks for nothing, Your Highness.

By then, the replacement order had arrived. And I wondered how Chewy stayed in business giving away $300 worth of products without hesitation. Fast forward a week or so and we get a knock at the door. A nattily dressed gentlemen with a British accent showed up at the house and inquired as to a possible order from Chewy. He lived at our same street address—the next town over.  (FedEx: We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Zipcodes!) He said that FedEx wouldn’t take the package back. Chewy wouldn’t take the package back either. He did not have a cat, nor want one. So, he waited for a nice day, lugged the 50 lb box into his car and decided to drive it to our house! He even brought it inside for us!

I explained to Chewy (in another online chat) that the original order had surfaced and offered to pay for the replacement. The agent was flummoxed. She had to kick it up to a supervisor who then told me that their systems did not have a mechanism for me to pay for a replacement order. Just keep it, she said. Again, how does Chewy stay in business? I noodled over the Cat Food/Delivery Industrial Complex and how we are at their mercy. All the angst and frustration and dismay and every other emotion I cycled through mattered not one bit. Things were going to happen as they were supposed to happen, I guess, but not necessarily how I THOUGHT they were supposed to happen. And this time, it worked to my benefit. Trish, who lost no sleep over this weeks long process, wants to know if I’ve learned the lesson to stop getting so worked up and let things flow. Probably not. Because things should happen the way they are supposed to happen.